Lactose Intolerance

Hey, you remember Chick-fil-A, don't you? The ones with their own college Bowl Game. The ones with the hysterical commercials with cows? The ones with the president who said,  "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about." That Chick-fil-A.
Not exactly an American institution, but they certainly know how to promote themselves. The bowl game was watched by more than eight and a half million viewers. Those nutty cows keep on encouraging us to "Eat more chikin." And their president, Dan Cathy, keeps reminding us of the pending apocalypse we're bringing on ourselves by allowing this gay marriage thing to take root in our society: "Sad day for our nation; founding fathers would be ashamed of our gen. to abandon wisdom of the ages re: cornerstone of strong societies." That cornerstone would be heterosexual marriage. Men and women love each other as naturally as they love a Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe. And if you don't, well it's still a free country and you can feel free to eat at McDonald's or wherever it is that you think you can get a crispy chicken breast sandwich that will go along with your morally bankrupt persona.
Which brings us to breasts. Now Chick-fil-A has decided to take on nursing mothers. Last week, Jennifer Day, a mom who was feeding her child at the restaurant where she had just fed herself experienced the following: "Just as I was finishing up, an employee came up and told me other parents were afraid of letting their children play while I was feeding her, especially without a cover." As it turns out, breastfeeding in public is a lot more legal in Tennessee than gay marriage, where Jennifer and her daughter were interrupted from their afternoon meal. So, she called some friends and orchestrated a "nurse-in" to show solidarity amongst those who enjoy fast food and breast milk, but not necessarily together. For their part, Chick-fil-A released a statement: “The manager has apologized and regrets any offense he may have caused." The restaurant also plans to now work with the East Tennessee Breastfeeding Coalition for some sensitivity training.
The apology probably came a lot quicker once they figured out that these women were just participating in their Gospel-defined role as caregivers and would be rushing home with takeout to their husband, who really loves him some waffle-cut fries. Praise the Lord and pass the ketchup!