Already? Really?

"It will be a tougher race than the last. Somebody is going to have to emerge who is really smart … the Republicans have to get it right. If they don’t find the right person – and I mean the right person – they are going to get drubbed in the 2016 election and that’s not a good thing." That's the view from the top of Trump Tower, anyway. In an address to evangelical Christians in Iowa last week, the Donald wanted everyone to know  that Republicans "have to get it right" in selecting a 2016 presidential nominee or the country "could be in real or permanent trouble."
What sort of real or permanent trouble? The kind of trouble that Hillary Clinton, whom Mister Trump sees as the presumptive Democratic nominee. "This country has to be brought back from the edge," Trump continued. "There’s a point at which it’s going to be too late, and the Republicans have to get very tough and very smart, and they have to do it fast." This is an interesting perspective for a couple of reasons: First of all, the term "fast" usually connotes something that would take place in less than a year's time, and the election is still more than three years away. Therefore it follows that it must the first part of that statement that is at issue. Getting smart could be the thing that will take three years. One could infer from this that Republicans missed out on the "smart" choice last year when they didn't give Donald Trump the keys to the presidential race car. As for Romney, “I don’t know what the hell happened in his campaign," Trump said. "That was an election that couldn’t have been lost.” Even after Karl Rove and his evil henchmen pumped more than four hundred million dollars into it. How could they have lost?
No crying over spilled milk, unless the milk in question comes from the very pampered and expensive cows at the Hare Krishna dairy in Hertfordshire, England. Or the ocelot milk that is used in the treatment of Mister Trump's scalp condition. The important thing is that the Republicans start doing what they do best: Respecting life and owning guns. "I am a conservative Republican, I am pro life, I support traditional marriage and the second amendment one hundred percent," said the self-described "Sunday church person" to the Iowa evangelicals.
He concluded by saying, "Do what's right, but be careful because it could be a death wish for the Republican Party." So to review: Be careful. Be smart. Do what's right. Do it fast. And whatever you do, watch out for Canadians.