Friday, November 16, 2012

The Rash Of Indiscretion

Elmo isn't the only scandal rocking the news these days. You may have heard of this other peccadillo involving a certain General Patraeus? The one where the now former director of the Central Intelligence Agency was involved in an extra-marital affair with his biographer, with whom he shared more than just a few briefings. If you catch my meaning. The first thing that occurs to me is this: If you can't keep your mistress a secret, do you really deserve to be our nation's top spy?
That's what makes James Bond such a great model. He doesn't make attachments, and if he does, they're usually gone by the second reel. When James did finally judo-flip over a woman, Contessa Teresa ‘Tracy’ Di Vicenzo ended up being shot in a drive-by, he doesn't get mad. He made a sequel. Though it is probably worth noting that George Lazenby wasn't renewed as 007. His license to kill was passed along to Roger Moore, who spent most of the seventies hopping from bed to bed with nothing but a quip and his Walther PPK to keep him company on most nights. That's the life of a spy.
Or maybe it's that power thing that has plagued men since before Thomas Jefferson, and right up to William Jefferson Clinton. And David Patraeus. And now, our top commander in Afghanistan, General John Allen, has been caught with his camos around his ankles. This will make it very difficult for him to be confirmed as the commander of NATO forces in Europe.We wouldn't want someone in that position to be compromised by something as tawdry as infidelity. Again, if you can't keep your e-mail private, then you probably don't deserve to be in charge of a bunch of spies anyway. It makes you wonder which side Elmo is really on.

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