Friday, November 09, 2012


What's round on the ends and high in the middle? If you answered "OhighO," you'd be right, and not just for your faulty spelling skills. A woman caught on camera driving on a sidewalk to avoid a Cleveland school bus that was unloading children will have to stand at an intersection wearing a sign warning about idiots. Thirty-two-year-old Shena Hardin to stand at an intersection for two days next week. She will have to wear a sign saying: "Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus." You can argue with the wording. You can argue with the sentence. You could argue with the sentence wording, but you have to admit, this is a creative way to dispense justice.
Perhaps this was a reaction to all that swing-state scrutiny, but I wonder why over the past few weeks we haven't seen more acts of idiocy. Pushed to the brink of irrationality, by hour after hour of political advertising, the denizens of the nation's most vowel-laden state by percent have most certainly become unhinged. There are probably numerous cases of Ohioans drying their clothes with microwaves, feeding crocodiles marshmallows by hand, and testing car batteries with their tongues. It's the stress.
The pressure to pick the leader of the free world is enough to make anybody drive on the sidewalk, and not just to avoid a school bus. In other realms, we applaud this as "thinking outside the box." Clinging tenaciously to light poles and mailboxes might be the net result of such action, but isn't that the kind of survival of the fittest experience that made our country great in the first place?
Or maybe I'm just an idiot.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the nation's most vowel-laden state

Percentage or total? Louisiana and South Carolina each have 6 vowels.