Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Spy Kids

I read an article on Al Gore's Internet the other day that offered tips to parents about when it's okay to spy on your kids. Check their e-mail. Read their texts. Look in on their Facebook posts. I will admit that all of these things occurred to me before I read the article, but I've never been fully able to do any of those things. Oh, I've peeked over his shoulder from time to time, and I've asked enough questions to make him roll his eyes, but that's not what I was wondering about. What I really wanted to know was: When is it okay to have your child followed?
Not that I'm terrifically worried about the things my son is getting himself into, but his world did just expand in a profound way. His mother has walked with him to each of the last ten plus years' first day of school. This year, she walked him up to the bus stop. The bus came. He got on, and he was gone. He's halfway across town, doing those things that freshman do in their first week of high school. He's got his friends. He's got his schedule. He's got his life. His mom and I catch up at dinner time.
It's not that different from middle school, but we feel it. It's only been a week, and I've already heard the phrase, "I don't want to talk about it" three times. We're used to hearing everything. Last year we got exasperated updates about the girls in his life. Now we've been relegated to a "need-to-know" basis. He has friends who can carry his confidences. He has four or five different devices to establish communication with his peers. Not that he would use our land line to accept any calls, but every so often one sneaks through. If I wanted to know, I could always check caller ID. There's nothing too nefarious going on. Getting his PE locker, finding his classes, negotiating the minefields of teen romance.
Check that. Maybe it's not too late to hire a private investigator.

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