God Shuffled His Feet

It must be almost Fall. The leaves are beginning to turn and Pat "God's Little Elf" Robertson is once again spouting off in his very special way. Ten years ago, he was earnestly agreeing with the Reverend Jerry "Lee" Falwell about the causes of the attacks of September 11: Gays, lesbians and the American Civil Liberties Union. This was God's judgement on us, according to these guys, who claim to know Him well.
Then there was the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Once again, Pat pointed the finger at the Supreme Being, saying that He was angry about legalized abortion. He was also lumping natural disasters along with terrorism. Televangilism seems to require a certain amount of creative thinking. It's that kind of thinking outside the box that gave him the notion that he should run for President of the United States. When God called him, he was ready.
Well, that was a long time ago. Now we're left with the ripples and waves of the tempest he stirred way back when. And another Autumn is nigh. We know because Pat has announced that it's okay to divorce your spouse if they have Alzheimer's. He legitimizes this view by pointing out that the disease is "a kind of death," and so it means it's okay to part. Just like that. The sickness and health part is really kind of vague, but death is the final answer, so go ahead and let your wife or husband go if they have this terrible affliction. He promised not to "put a guilt trip" on anyone who made this choice. Are you listening, Newt Gingrich? How about you, John Edwards? Cancer? Alzheimer's? Aren't we splitting hairs here?
I guess all we can hope is that the title of Pat's show, "The 700 Club" refers to the number of viewers he has.