Tuesday, September 13, 2011


The first thing I think of when I read "Irreconcilable Differences" is the movie starring Ryan O'Neal and Shelly Long. It also reminds me of the nascent talents of a post-E.T. Drew Barrymore. And it makes me think of how easy marriage used to look to me. Hollywood has a way of doing that: simplifying the an incredibly complex situation or process and turning it into easily understood and digested pablum. If you don't love your spouse anymore, you throw some clothes in a suitcase and storm out. Over the course of the next ninety minutes, you'll come to realize that you've made a mistake and you have to find some way to win your way back into home you just left.
That's in Hollywood. Most of the time, in other towns, it takes a little longer than an hour and a half. Sometimes years. And if you leave, there is no guarantee that you'll be welcomed tearfully back at any point. You might just keep on going. Or you might change your mind and find out that your spot at the dinner table has already been taken by somebody else. That's what divorce statistics would suggest. Those who choose to stick it out are in the minority. Learning to deal with those differences, like who balances the check book or how much TV is the right amount, is the challenge. Who unloads the dishwasher is reconcilable.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You put "Drew Barrymore" and "talent" in the same sentence.