Coming Soonish

I knew that I had grown too old for the whole sci-fi geek trip when I spent three hours sitting on the sidewalk outside my local superfaplex to see the midnight premiere showing of "The Phantom Menace." Once inside and seated in the relative comfort of the climate-controlled theatre, I waited along with my nerdy brethren to watch the beginning of the trilogy unfold. The anticipation was palpable. We had all waited sixteen years to find out what had gotten young Darth Vader's knickers in such a twist. As it turns out, it was The Evil Trade Federation that was to blame. Or something like that. It was numbing. Jar Jar Binks almost had me wishing for the return of the Ewoks. I was ready to swear off a galaxy far, far away for good.
Then my son came along. Suddenly he had a say in the pop culture that became part of our family. Episodes I, II and III became "his" Star Wars. I rolled my eyes and held my tongue as much as I could as I watched the legacy that I had come of age with get swept aside by a flashy, digitized vision that was hollow on the inside. I had the same challenge when eighty-six year old Harrison Ford decided to get back into the archaeology game. This wasn't your dad's Indiana Jones. Instead of Jar Jar Binks, this one had prairie dogs.
Now, George Lucas is revving up his money-making machine, not unlike Sylvester McMonkey McBean, to get all of us bored Sneetches to plunk down our hard earned cash to see his twin trilogies again. This time it will be in three dimensions. This should expand the dimensions for the first three by two, and should end up making another kerjillion dollars for Mister Lucas. James Cameron only waited a few months before unleashing his "new vision" of "Avatar" on the unsuspecting public, so this shouldn't be anything but a love fest. That one was already in 3D, but it borrowed a script from "Ferngully."
And so I wait for the news to trickle down to my son. He uses Al Gore's Internet. He reads "Entertainment Weekly." It's only a matter of time before the Wookie gets out of the bag. And then I'll have to start preparing my excuses. Or finding a nice soft cushion to sit on that sidewalk.