Forward Into The Past

I get it. People are frustrated. They are angry. America is land of the free and home of the brave and lately we haven't been feeling like that very much. Instead, we've been apologizing for this and that, and spending money trying to fix things that may have been broken for a long time anyway. It is this dander that has been stirred into a revolution, with a small R, and calling out to the masses of those who feel under-served by this current administration. Why should we, the most powerful nation on the planet, have to back down to anyone or anything, including science?
The facts about global warming continue to be debated. The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster wants us to believe that global temperature is in inverse proportion to the number of pirates. Unfortunately, what the Church has failed to take into account is the recent rise of pirates, in Somalia and Johnny Depp. Global warming? All evidence points to the coming of another ice age, the kind we haven't seen since "The Day After Tomorrow."
Maybe that's why MegBay Whitman decided to go ahead and vote against a measure that would repeal a greenhouse gas law she called a "jobs-killer." She's been saving up all those votes for the past twenty-eight years for something really important. There are bigger concerns for us now: protection against renegade ice floes and polar bears. Happily, we've got Sarah "Quitter" Palin around to help us with that second one, and the anti-piracy task force of Clive Davis and Carlos Santana to help us with the first. These are dangerous times, but if we all pull together, we can make it out alive.
Then and only then can we get back to our main concern: Debunking the "myth" of evolution.