Behavior Unbecoming

And now, turning to the world of sport, we examine the strange case of New York Football Giants running back Brandon Jacobs. In the course of having their collective posterior handed to them by their quarterback's big brother, Mister Jacobs lost his temper. Understandable at some level, since playing professional football is a stressful occupation, and there are millions of dollars at stake for each and every performance. At another level, these players are professionals and should be expected to act in a responsible manner. Which is why throwing a temper tantrum, and a helmet, seems so ridiculous.
Jacobs was flagged for a personal foul for a late hit and had gained only eight yards on four carries, that's when he threw his helmet at the bench. He missed. Instead, the protective headgear landed about ten rows up in the lap of an Indianapolis Colts' fan, who briefly waged a tug-of-war for this souvenir with stadium officials. The main reason for denying this citizen his rightful dibs was that Brandon might need his hat if he wanted to go outside and play again.
No need to worry about that, since his coach had him put his bottom on the bench that he had such a hard time finding with his equipment.
The next day, the National Football League decided that this lapse in judgement should cost Brandon Jacobs ten thousand dollars. Fine to be paid to the league office, obviously. The fan who gave up the helmet was bribed with plenty of nice things in trade then had his new toy pulled from his hands by authorities. He won't be seeing any of that ten thousand dollars. He gets to be part of sports lore, not unlike Steve Bartman, except that Bartman kept his team from winning. This guy in Indianapolis got to watch his team mop up the mess that was the rest of the New York Giants and took home some lovely parting gifts. Steve Bartman is still in a witness protection program.
Rumor abound that Brandon Jacobs wants to be traded because he doesn't think he'll be able to perform to his potential in his new backup role. He was mildly effusive with his apologies: "We were losing the game and I was mad," Jacobs said. "No one wants to lose, and I kind of lost my cool." Kind of. If he had been on the playground where I was watching the behavior, he would have bypassed the bench and been headed straight for the Principal's office. He wouldn't be traded to another team. He would be asked to sit in the Principal's office for the next few recesses. And I would probably get to keep the helmet.