I Wish They Would Have Gone Bowling Instead

Sometimes you have to look hard to find tinier brains than the ones presently running the country, but that's why we have the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives. Federal authorities detailed a plot hatched by two white supremacists who were allegedly planning to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Court documents say the two men met about a month ago on the Internet and found common ground in their shared "white power" and "skinhead" philosophy. I suppose if a caveman can buy car insurance, skinheads can use a chat room to find one another.
They can find one another and create amusing ways to kill people: "Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt," the court complaint states. I suppose that's what they mean by "white power." Daniel Cowart, twenty years old, of Bells, Tennessee lived with his grandparents and apparently never graduated from high school. Really? What do you suppose the chances of that were? If you guessed one hundred percent, you've got a whole lot more going on between your ears than these two goons. Zippy the Skinhead and his pal told investigators the day they were arrested they had shot at a glass window at Beech Grove Church of Christ, a congregation of about sixty black members in Brownsville, Tennessee. That, apparently, was the beginning of their master plan to go on a frenzied rampage.
And so this one ends with a whimper, not a bang. The court documents maintain, "Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt." Sorry guys. Do not pass Go. Go directly to jail where you can work on that GED.