Sunday, July 27, 2008

Well Of Souls

I've been getting a lot of e-mail lately exhorting the joys of "Christian Dating." I have no doubt that if I were a single Christian, this might be the first thing I look at, right after that message from this poor Angolan woman whose husband was killed by evil despots and needs my help to return his fortune to his family. So many people need my help out there, why not help myself with a little Christian Love Connection?
I guess the best reason for this would be that I am already married, so my need for a dating service seems a little redundant. I also wonder a little about just how "Christian" it is to seek out potential life partners using Al Gore's Internet. If the eyes are a window into your soul, what kind of view does one get from an on-line profile? What makes this service morally superior to any other?
I wonder this because of a time in my now distant past that I once drove down to put my face and idiosyncrasies in the pool of Great Expectations, a dating service of some renown. I went after work, so I carried a couple extra shirts with me, as I was reminded oh-so-politely that making an impression is the first step. My sweaty Western Systems Installation shirt was probably not going to net me the girl of my dreams. I entered with an open mind. After all, I had gone a number of years without going on a single "real date," and I reckoned that maybe I needed professional help.
To make a long story short, I found that I couldn't really afford their service, and not just financially. During my introductory interview, I found that I wasn't nearly as desperate as I thought I was for companionship. There were plenty of other sad and lonely people ahead of me willing to part with a good chunk of cash along with a portion of their dignity to be fixed up with their life partner. I never bother changing my shirt. I drove home alone, but just a little bit happier than when I started the day.
Now one can enjoy the same experience from the privacy of their own homes, from the relative safety of their computer screens. Like adult entertainment before it, the dating experience has found a safe and discreet home on Al Gore's Internet. Part of me wonders if I would have been more willing to participate in my own Great Expectations if I could have done it with a keyboard and a mouse. I guess I'm glad that it never came to that.

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