Work 'n' Stuff

Last night my wife and I were having a discussion about real and made-up jobs. She has a client or two that charge in excess 0f one hundred dollars an hour for their services. I suggested if that was the case, they must have made-up jobs. One was an "Energy Consultant", and you can use your imagination to determine just what that job description looks like. If you're thinking it has something to do with switching to fluorescent light bulbs, think again. One hundred and twenty-five dollars an hour. Go figure.
My attitude may be shaped by the old saw about "Those who can't do teach." I feel this every so often when I come home exhausted from a day in the classroom, and then I remember a day when I used to carry boxes of books around a warehouse for ten hours a day, or when I used to move and repair modular office furniture. Those were jobs. I came home and took a shower. I didn't just sink down into the couch with a low moan. That's why I'm the guy who raises his hand when my assistant principal asks if anybody wants to help putting together bookcases. Molding young minds is important, but it rarely involves a Phillips head screwdriver.
When all was said and done, I decided to return to my high school career goal: I want to be the person who decides when and where the apostrophe-n-apostrophe contraction can and should be used. "Rock 'n' Roll" is pretty much the template, but there are hundreds of other uses, and it is my intent to become the sole arbiter of this little chunk of pop culture. For this service I will not charge by the hour. Instead I will work only on commission. If you have any notions about where you might like to include this appealing and folksy conjunction, have your service call my service. We'll do lunch.