Friday, May 02, 2008

Heads Up, True Believers

Hillary Rodham Clinton was jolted Thursday by the defection of one of her longtime superdelegate supporters, a former national party chairman who urged fellow Democrats to "reject the old negative politics" and unify behind Barack Obama. In a campaign that has become ever more dicey and divisive, every vote could turn the tide. The next President of the United States could be delivered via the hands of these strange and unpredictable creatures.
Can we blame Joe Andrew? His work as party chairman is only part of the story. Raised by his Aunt and Uncle after the death of his parents, Joe was bitten by a radioactive spider while on a field trip in high school. He soon discovered that with great power comes great responsibility, and a really zingy set of Underoos.
Then there's Barney Frank, who is still squarely in Hillary's corner. Barney, the first openly gay member of Congress, was also tragically orphaned as a child when his home planet exploded and he was sent to earth to escape as his parents perished. He apparently acquired his superdelegate powers when he was exposed to the rays of the earth's yellow sun.
Tammy Baldwin, openly gay Representative from Wisconsin, has always been a forceful advocate for family farmers, and is using her superdelegate powers in support of Senator Clinton as well. This may have something to do with the sapphic bond she feels to her fellow Amazons, and will be using her golden lasso to round up as many votes as she can before returning to her home island in her invisible plane.
And we certainly don't want to upset Doctor Bruce Banner, since the effects of gamma radiation on the political process have not been fully explored.


Anonymous said...

At first I thought you said that Clinton was jolted by the "defecation" of one of her longtime superdelegate supporters. That *would* be a bit of a shock!

Thanks for the giggle on the way to another tiresome Super Tuesday. Maybe it should wear a cape.


Anonymous said...