Pinhead is trying on his Yosemite Sam face again. This time he's telling Democrats Tuesday to accept his offer to have top aides testify about the firings of federal prosecutors only privately and not under oath or risk a constitutional showdown from which he would not back down. It is probably worth mentioning that he did not refer to any of the Democrats as "varmints" or "galloots". He may have muttered something under his breath as he walked away from the microphone, and some reporters said that they heard him hollering "Tarnation!" on the way down the hall, but for the most part, he kept his composure.
Playing the part of Bugs Bunny, Patrick Leahy, chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said, "Testimony should be on the record and under oath. That's the formula for true accountability." Mister Leahy made this admonition as he leaned against a tree and munched on a carrot. It is only a matter of time before someone ends up with a faceful of TNT, or gets launched into geosynchronous orbit via a giant ACME rubber band.
Pinhead gave his embattled attorney general, Alberto "Speedy" Gonzales, a boost during an early morning call and ended the day with a public statement repeating it. "He's got support with me." Furthermore, lawmakers were told they could interview presidential counselor Karl "Elmer" Rove, former White House Counsel Harriet "Witch Hazel" Miers and their deputies — but only on the president's terms: in private, "without the need for an oath" and without a transcript. I know what you're thinking. Something along the lines of "Sufferin' Succotash."
How could this administration put its collective foot in yet another major boondoggle, especially fast on the heels of the fourth anniversary of their most infamous hokum? I guess the only way to find out the answer to that one would be to ask General David "Private Snafu" Petraeus.
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