Friday, November 03, 2006

Workin' For The Weekend

"Look out, 'cause here she comes" - Lennon and McCartney, "Helter Skelter"
Yes sports fans, hold on tight, because if you thought October was hellish (hell-like? hell-ique?), get ready for this weekend. Iraq has canceled leave for all military officers two days before an expected verdict — and possible death sentence — in the trial of Saddam Hussein. Try to imagine what would happen in Detroit if the Tigers had won the World Series. Then add automatic weapons. On second thought, since automatic weapons would already be there, let's add car bombs. And motorcycle bombs. And Razor Scooter bombs. Then multiply that by a factor of at least fourteen. And make it worse still, since there won't be a parade the next day.
Sunnis and Kurds are expected to burst into a righteous and intense fireball of rage if the sentence is death. Shiites will be just as outraged if the verdict is anything but death by hanging. Shiites are so difficult to please.
Meanwhile, Nearly 100,000 Iraqis are fleeing each month to Syria and Jordan, forcing the
United Nations to set aside its goal of helping refugees return home after the U.S.-led invasion. That's about 2,000 a day leaving for Syria, and another 1,000 heading for Jordan. So here's my plan, delay the verdict for a few more months, maybe ten or more. Then there will be one million less Iraqis to stir up trouble when the gavel comes down. Last one out of Baghdad, please turn out the lights.

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