Opportunity Knocks

Given my rather dark mood of yesterday, imagine my great relief when I opened my electronic mailbox this morning to find this message:
"I do recognised the surprise this letter will bring to you, most especially as it comes from a stranger. My name is Mr. Khalid Utman. I am from Dubai. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business."
Okay - so maybe that in itself isn't such great news, but it turns out that Mr. Utman, in a change of heart almost Grinch-like in its three-sizes change, has decided to "close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in United States, Asia, Middle East & Europe." What a humanitarian! Sadly, even though he has already showered his immediate and extended family with riches, they are unwilling to help him carry out his most benevolent wishes. Can you imagine that?
This guy just wants to give something back - to the tune of eighty million U.S. dollars (which he kindly writes in both word and numerical form, with decimal point). He's looking for someone who is willing to help him in this endeavor. "Kindly note that 40% of this funds must go to victims of Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Wilma and South Asia Earthquake, 55% to other Charity Organizations around the World and 5% for your effort and time." Hey now! Five percent of eighty million is - well, it's a whole lot more than I was going to make this weekend.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Why not call this guy up and check him out to see if he is what he says he is. Sadly, "I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health situation and reasons in regards to relatives, as I am using my Lap Top Computer to communicate with you. You should respond to this e-mail if you are interested in carrying out this assignment on my behalf." The poor soul has become so gravely ill that he can hardly type, let alone talk on the phone.
What better way to start the blessed holiday season than helping spread a little sunshine (and cash) to those less fortunate? And if I ended up with just a four million dollar slice of that pie for myself? Well, as Mr. Utman so eloquently quotes from the Qaran, "Thou wariest only him who followeth the reminder and fearieth the beneficent in secret to him bear tiding of forgiveness and a rich reward." Boy howdy. Maybe I should set about reading the Qaran...