Thursday, September 21, 2006


Sounds like President Pinhead's new terrorist interrogation guidelines may have been written by Bruce at the University of Walamaloo: "Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all - if there's anybody watching." This is a scary Pinhead. The one you don't want to meet in a dark alley. Check out this interchange between Matt Lauer and "Master P":
Matt Lauer: I don't want to let this "within the law issue" slip though. I mean, if, in fact, there was water boarding used with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and for the viewers, that's basically when you strap someone to a board and you make them feel as if they're going to drown by putting them underwater, if that was legal and within the law, why couldn't you do it at Guantanamo? Why did you have to go to a secret location around the world?
President Pinhead: I'm not going to talk about techniques. And, I'm not going explain to the enemy what we're doing. All I'm telling you is that you've asked me whether or not we're doing things to protect the American people, and I want the American people to know we are doing so.
Ladies and gentlemen, when he says he doesn't want to talk about techniques, I think it's best that we take him at his word. Lauer mentioned that the head of Amnesty International said that these secret sites are against international law. Pinhead replied, "Well, we just disagree with him. Plus, my job is to protect you. And most American people, if I said [to them] that we had who we think is the mastermind of the 9/11, they would say, 'Why don't you see if you can't get information without torturing him,' which is what we did." And if that didn't work? Again, probably better not to ask. Wasn't it always the bad guys with the bamboo splints under the fingernails? The Nazi dentist with the drills and "Is it safe?naive not so naiive to believe that America has always played by the rules, but I want to believe that when we get caught breaking them, that we will own up and make every effort to work within the law: International, Geneva Convention, or the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It's like what Wilford Brimley used to say about Quaker Oats - It's the right thing to do.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bush is starting to sound a bit like Tom Cruise in tone and least in juxtaposition to Matt Lauer. Or maybe Cruise picked it up from Bush? I'm pretty sure Cruise got their first. Anyway, I'm surprised Bush didn't call Lauer glib.