2,4,6,8 - We're All Gonna Caliphate

Consider this juxtaposition: Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" gets a stingray tail jabbed through his chest one day. The next day, President Pinhead releases his defense strategy which says, "we are not yet safe." Well, how about that? Just when you thought that you might be able to safely swim with large and certainly potentially dangerous fish, along comes the leader of the free world to let us know that we still have so very much left to fear.
I know that Pinhead didn't have television's naturalists in mind as he made his proclamation, but it certainly makes you think: If I stay on the shore, or even the relative comfort of a glass bottom boat, the terrorists win. By not rushing out into the wild and grabbing nature by the short hairs and yanking, I'm surrendering to a world of fanatics - fanatics who mean to do us harm: bite us, blow us up, thumbing their noses at democracy and/or walking upright.
Pinhead said al Qaeda's vision was to create a "unified totalitarian Islamic state that can confront and eventually destroy the free world." Not if he gets to it first, however. The amazingly intricate circular logic that drives this terror (hence the term "terrorist," one supposes) is initially mind-boggling, then ultimately soothing. The terror in Iraq occurred in a power vacuum created by our invasion and the limited success we have had installing a fully-functional democracy - or police force, or military, or running water. John Kerry replied, "Afghanistan is slipping back into chaos, Pakistan is one coup away from becoming a radical Islamic state with nuclear weapons, Iran is closer to a nuclear arsenal, and Iraq has become a recruitment poster for terror." Kerry, not known for his rapier-wit did make a clever suggestion in response to the numerous quotes from Osama bin Laden in his speech, asserting that if Pinhead had killed bin Laden in late 2001, "he wouldn't have to quote this barbarian's words today."
Poor Steve Irwin. If only he had read the transcripts of the most recent meeting of al-Dasyatids, maybe he would have had a chance.