Superman never made any money
from saving the world from Solomon Grundy...
- Crash Test Dummies
There was some question raised in the reviews for "Superman Returns" about why Clark Kent/Superman would choose to leave the Earth for five years to go gallivanting around the galaxy in search of his home world, or pieces thereof.
A better question might be "Why do you suppose he stuck around so long in the first place?" I am reminded of the 1971 animated film "Thank You Mask Man," a Lenny Bruce routine that begins with local folks upset at the Lone Ranger because he won't stay around to be thanked after a good deed. So, he stays and finds he likes hearing "Thank you mask man."
"Say that again, son. I like the sound of it," says the Lone Ranger. When the townspeople's attention starts to shift elsewhere, he shocks and disgusts the townspeople with a final request. Let's just say that it involves Tonto the Indian and maybe even Silver.
These heroes, they've got to be doing it for the love of it, because if they wait around too long, there's going to be another crisis, and another. If Oakland had a superhero, like Metropolis has Superman, and Gotham City has Batman, I think he'd be left scratching his cowled head. A triple shooting early Sunday in the Fruitvale district left one man dead and two in the hospital with serious injuries, police said. Halfway through the year, Oakland's homicide rate is over seventy, with little or no sign of slowing down. Some super-type could spend a full evening stopping bullets right here in the other city by the bay.
This makes me wonder if there shouldn't be some sort of unionization of superheroes. New York City seems to have more than its fair share with just the Fantastic Four and Spiderman. Cleveland has Howard the Duck. That leaves a great many metropolitan areas without super-coverage. One might hope that the most qualified heroes would end up in situations that would suit them best, but you can be certain that there would be plenty of cherry-picking of some of the more glamorous assignments.
Finally, I suppose it makes most sense that the real heroes are the ones who choose to serve and protect the place they find themselves. Maybe that's why so many superheroes are orphans - they need to connect to a community for the validation missing from their absent parents. Maybe they're just waiting around for a simple "thank you."
Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home
- Crash Test Dummies "Superman's Song"
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