Feeling Lucky?

Fred Flintstone has a serious gambling problem. The mere mention of the word "bet" causes Fred to stammer "bet" over and over again and causes him to go on gambling binges. Anyone who has encountered Fred during one of these wild-eyed rampages knows just how sad it can be when the gambling bug bites someone you care about.
I lost a dollar on the Denver-Pittsburgh AFC Championship game last year. I was goaded into it. Mostly, however, I find that it's best to keep my bets reserved for things that I can affect in a very personal way. There is nothing sadder than watching a football squeak past a goalpost, good or bad, depending on the way you had hoped the outcome would occur. I have written here numerous times about the importance of "concern rays" and still believe wholeheartedly in their lasting and undeniable impact on spectator sports. However, I think that betting causes a measure of deterioration of the strength of those rays. If you're going to bet more than a dollar on Shaquille O'Neal making a free throw, I would suggest that you get yourself a seat in the arena, preferably courtside or closer if you really want to help will that ball through the hoop.
That being said, I won't say that I never make bets. As I said, I tend to make or take bets solely on the basis of how much control I can exert on the outcome of the event. Having made very few free throws of my own, and even fewer field goals, I tend to wager on things like picayune details or arcane knowledge. Want to bet on the order of the original "Planet of the Apes" movies? How about Jello Biafra's high school alma mater?
And the lottery? Don't get me started. Even the most dedicated and desperate concern rays can not control the outcome of what we lovingly refer to around here as "The Stupidity Tax." I spend about a week each year training fourth graders about the pitfalls of "luck."
"A little government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them." - P.J. O'Rourke