Wednesday, June 14, 2006

In The Super Closet

Somebody asked me just the other day if I was looking forward to seeing the new Superman movie. I suspect the reason she asked me was that I was wearing a big red "S" on my chest at the time. I told her that I was looking forward to it, since I'm a sucker for most things superheroic - and this one will be directed by Bryan Singer, who acquitted himself most ably in two X-Men movies. I have also stated here before my deeply held sentimental attachment to "Superman II."
But I still have trouble with Supes. It's related to the "Star Trek" conundrum in which they figure out how to go back in time to fix problems, so why is it then that we still have problems? Once Superman turned back time by speeding around the globe in reverse to bring Lois Lane back to life, I wondered why he didn't just keep going and fix up that whole Holocaust thing, or at least stop by and give Hitler such a super-pinch. Batman's utility belt has the same problem (mainly during the sixties). If the Joker dropped him into shark-infested waters, it would be just Bat-Karma that Alfred would have thought to replenish the shark-repellent spray before Bruce Wayne cinched up his tights that evening.
Contrastingly, when heroes in the Marvel Universe set out to fight for justice, they do it with a chip on their shoulders, or a rip in their uniform they forgot to get fixed. In the latest edition of the Marvel comic "Civil War" on sale, Spiderman does the unthinkable and removes his Spidey mask to publicly reveal his hidden identity. In front of a press conference held in Times Square, he pulls his mask off to reveal that Spiderman is in fact Peter Parker. "Any questions?" Parker asks in the final panel of the issue, amid a barrage of camera flashes.
Ultimately, this brings me back to Superman, and what an incredible nitwit Lois Lane must be. Spiderman wears a mask over his face. Superman's disguise? A pair of horn-rimmed glasses. I know, the spit curl is a little distracting, but how could Metropolis' investigative reporter par excellence miss that one?

1 comment:

haywagon said...

"... or at least stop by and give Hitler such a super-pinch." Comedy gold.