Category Five

 Here's the thing: My Disneyland is already built. There is a ready-made infrastructure in place for dealing with inclement weather and the occasional human whoops that take place there every day. I am about to run the risk of coming off hypocritical by suggesting that driving out to the middle of a desert and camping out on a dry lake bed is not an environmentally sensitive way to spend Labor Day weekend. 

The truth is, there aren't a lot of avenues that lead to being environmentally sensitive on Labor Day weekend. Your average holiday barbecue puts out eleven pounds of carbon dioxide per hour, so hanging around at home and grilling up some burgers in the back yard isn't the staycation you may have thought it was. Not for the planet which is already struggling under the weight of all the less than necessary waste we are generating as a species. 

Yes, I know that the Churro stands in the Magic Kingdom are significant contributors to greenhouse gasses. But as awful as the Disney Company and its mechanisms for force-feeding fun into our faces, at least they don't try to drag it hundreds of miles into the aforementioned dry lake bed to party around it and then, in a fit of hubris set it all on fire. 

All those urban assault vehicles that make the trek to Black Rock City year after year to set up camp in order to become one with the earth are not getting there on the fumes of love and understanding. Once they get there, they aren't running their psychedelic body painting shacks on positive vibes. Certainly there are those who tote their responsible solar generators out onto the playa, but even then they would be doing this as part of a caravan of drug-addled idjits with the disposable income to spray their garbage into the land and air around them. 

It seems to me that the "responsible" thing to do would be to stay out of the dry lake bed in the first place. Each year, Burning Man generates about 100,000 tons of carbon dioxide. That's more than about 22,000 gas-powered cars produce in a year. Though the culmination of the weekend is setting a series of wood structures on fire, the bulk of the carbon produced comes from the travel of these latter-day hippies into the middle of nowhere. 

This year, climate protesters blocked the road into the desert, but their barricades were rammed by trucks from the Pyramid Lake Ranger Station. The protestors were arrested at gunpoint and the long line of RVs continued on their way to their destination. 

A dry lake bed. That was struck by powerful storms on Saturday, making escape difficult if not impossible. Nature was having its say. When all was said and done, the tribe in the desert made the best of their situation and partied on into the weekend. 

Meanwhile, the lines to Space Mountain were short, and the churros were delicious.