Needs Assessment

 I got a Super Ball for my sixtieth birthday. In keeping with the tradition of getting a toy for my birthday. Forever. My mother asked me somewhere along about the time I turned eighteen when she could stop "having to" give me a toy for my birthday. The answer was plain.

Never.

The best thing about having a kid, or at least one of the best things to which I will loudly attest, is the opportunity to extend the easy access to toys. Plastic toys that light up. Or make noise. Or fold out into interesting shapes. Our bounce. One of the chief arguments I had with the chain called "Toys R Us" was that I figured I was already toys, so how could that be? Maybe it was "us" by inclusion. No matter, because the important thing is that I have been afforded by those closest to me an opportunity to continue this fixation in a mostly healthy way for six decades. 

It is only now that it occurs to me that this may be the reason why I didn't manage to fall into a midlife crisis. One that would have found me buying a flashy sports car or off-road vehicle. Or take up some sport or activity that would have required ridiculous amounts of equipment and maintenance. I'm thinking sea kayaking, for example. Not that there is something intrinsically wrong with sea kayaking. Or sports cars for that matter. If you are able to have that experience without sublimating some angst or ennui, then put your paddle down, walk away from the sports car, and push that off-road symbol of lost youth off a cliff. 

Or instead, you could politely ask those in your inner circle to make a point of providing you with one plaything of modest and amusing scale to keep that portion of your inner child alert and ready for whatever life may bring you next. Like tax forms. Or a cubicle. Or separating the recycling. I truly believe that it was the introduction of power tools that made more men turn to Corvettes and teenaged girls to stave off the feeling of impending death. Power tools, while toy-adjacent, suggest that there is always work to be done. Again, I have nothing against power tools per se. I am very fond of the battery powered assortment of drills and saws that I have been gifted lo these many adult years.

But I really want a super ball. Thank you very much.