Muddy Waters

The nine-foot alligator seen with a human body in its jaws on Tuesday has been captured and found to have human remains in its stomach. Below is the statement issued through the alligator's representative: 

"It debilitates me to think that my actions have caused emotional and physical stress that is completely unwarranted and unfair. The thought of this is in my head every second of every day since this event has occurred. These ideas never leave my mind. During the day, I shake uncontrollably from the amount I torment myself by thinking about what has happened. I wish I had the ability to go back in time and never pick up a drink that night, let alone interact with [redacted. I can barely hold a conversation with someone without having my mind drift into thinking these thoughts. They torture me. I go to sleep every night having been crippled by these thoughts to the point of exhaustion. I wake up having dreamt of these horrific events that I have caused. I am completely consumed by my poor judgment and ill thought actions. There isn't a second that has gone by where I haven't regretted the course of events I took on June seventh. My shell and core of who I am as a person is forever broken from this. I am a changed reptile. At this point in my life, I never want to have a drop of alcohol again. I never want to attend a social gathering that involves alcohol or any situation where people make decisions based on the substances they have consumed. I never want to experience being in a position where it will have a negative impact on my life or someone else's ever again. I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to live in the Everglades, so maybe the newspapers wouldn't want to write stories about me. I know I can show gators who were like me the dangers of assuming what swamp life can be like without thinking about the consequences one would potentially have to make if one were to make the same decisions that I made. I want to show that alligators’ lives can be destroyed by drinking and making poor decisions while doing so. One needs to recognize the influence that peer pressure and the attitude of having to fit in can have on someone. One decision has the potential to change your entire life. I know I can impact and change other creatures’ attitudes towards the culture surrounded by binge drinking and sexual promiscuity that protrudes through what people think is at the core of being a predator. I want to demolish the assumption that drinking and partying are what make up a college lifestyle. I made a mistake, I drank too much, and my decisions hurt someone. But I never ever meant to intentionally hurt [redacted]. My poor decision making and excessive drinking hurt someone that night and I wish I could just take it all back. Before this happened, I never had any trouble with game wardens and I plan on maintaining that. I've been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school. I've lost my chance to swim in the zoo. I've lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life. I want to be a voice of reason in a time where people's attitudes and preconceived notions about partying and drinking have already been established. I want to let young gators know, as I did not, that things can go from fun to ruined in just one night."