Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Every Day Observance

There is a very old saw about how when kids say, "How come there is a Father's Day and a Mother's Day, but there's never a Kids' Day?" the only correct answer is: "Every day is kids' day." At least that's how I learned it. Happily, this was not a boundary that was tested much by our son. He was always pretty clear on the fact that, as an only child, he generally had the swing vote when it came to most discussions, whether it was where to go on family vacations or what to have for dinner. It helped to have that extra hand when it came time for resolution. That's why there are three branches of government, after all. Checks and balances and all that rot.
A month ago, when our son moved out to start living the life of a college freshman, we had no idea how big a change we would all feel. It was, for me, seismic. I had to learn all over again how to be part of a couple, not merely a dad. Negotiations sometimes came to a standstill, but we persevered and now we feel like we found some of that mojo we left behind to become parents. Just in time for parents' weekend.
It would be difficult to say exactly for whom this occasion was created. Was it to give homesick kids something to look forward to, a date on the calendar for which they could count down. Or was it a way to bring anxious parents back to campus to reunite them under the guise of "homecoming" to make them feel better about having made it five weeks without insisting that their children come home to visit or that they could intrude on the carefully balanced life that had been so patiently constructed?
As it turns out, none of that really mattered. When we got together again, it was a happy time. Plenty of hugs and good cheer, and laughter to spare. We all went to lunch and wandered around the campus with no particular agenda, in spite of the lengthy list of activities provided by the university and its sponsors. It was a treat to spend a day wandering in our son's footsteps, seeing all the things that he sees on a daily basis, but we had only heard about in our sporadic phone chats. Long distance may be the next best thing to being there, but being there is really pretty awesome. We shared meals and stories and more laugh and took a long walk in the moonlight to the Architecture Graveyard. It brought back feelings of my own college experience, and opened my eyes to the future my son was building in his new home. He had places and faces and things to experience that we were lucky enough to be tagging along to see. It was a happy time.
And even though we will be living apart, knowing that his world is expanding in ways we might never fully understand, it was comforting to feel so included and invited along for the ride. Maybe every day can't be Kids' Day, but I'm glad we had that Family Weekend.

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