Heroes Are Hard To Find

The more things change, the more they stay the same. At least that's the way it is in real life. It's also true in comic books. Over the years there has been all kinds of furor raised about this or that super hero being married or killed. Captain America died, and the comic-world mourned. Peter Parker died. Or his clone did. And one of them ended up marrying Mary Jane. Even Superman died. The Man of Steel. How can this be? Oh, that's right. It's make-believe. I know it's okay because I saw them all last couple of summers at the movie theater and they looked just fine.
There's a scene in another made-up story that pretty much sums it up:
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, cracked?
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand!
Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: Yeah, maybe you're right. It'd be a good fight, though.
That came from the movie, "Stand By Me," set in 1959. Even though pretend kids said it, this bit of dialogue pretty much sums up how I felt about Superman fighting Spider-Man. I knew that it wasn't really a fair question, since Spider-Man was obviously living in the real world, a.k.a. New York City. Superman came from some obviously fictional place called "Metropolis." And before that? A place in Kansas called "Smallville." Come on, please. At least Batman inhabited a synonym for New York: Gotham.
Now, the makers of Superman and his Bat-infatuated doppelganger are moving their headquarters from "Gotham" to Burbank, California. I'm trying to imagine a world in which this brings more verisimilitude to the son of Krypton. But only if he ditched his job at the Daily Planet and went to work for The TMZ.