Friday, July 19, 2013


I don't know how you missed it, but in case you were locked away in a gulag or in a coma so deep that you had no access to social media, there was a Sharknado last Thursday. It took the nation by storm. Get it? Storm?
Okay, so it was a TV movie. Not even a real theatrical release. It "stars" Tara Reid and Ian Ziering. Ms. Reid's prior credits include dating Carson Daly and was voted off of the British version of Big Brother. Mr. Ziering is perhaps best known for his ten-year run as a high school student in everybody's favorite zip code, 90210. This was a notable accomplishment primarily from the standpoint that Ian was twenty-six when he took the job, and "graduated" when he was just twenty-nine. Acting!
But let's face it, you may tune in to see that chick who was in American Pie, or what Steve Sanders looks like with a beard. You stayed to see sharks flying around Los Angeles. That's the kind of thing that makes the Internet hum, and last Thursday night servers were burning up with everyone's next best idea: Bearcano? Cobrapocalypse? Lemmingquake? So many possibilities, so very little time.
Wait a second. Strike that. There's plenty of time, and seemingly endless wads of available cash. Stuff like Sharknado doesn't get made for free, even if that seems to be the case. It's why they call it Show Business.
Somewhere along the line, somebody had to say "Yes, we'll give you a million dollars to make this practical joke of a movie." Just like it's a pretty sure thing that somebody is going to greenlight a sequel. That's the way things get done.
Somewhere, Roger Corman is smiling. It does make you wonder what Roger could have done with a million dollars. Attack of the Hurricrabs.

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