Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Best Blog Ever

Epitomes are trouble. I know because this is often my preferred mode of discourse. The biggest, baddest, coolest, tallest, loudest, frostiest, chewiest, smelliest, grungiest, saddest, longest, strongest, stretchiest, cutest, testiest, meatiest, bounciest, grossest, sappiest - before I ever have to resort to using "most" anything - I periodically will announce the superlative for any given category just to see who (or what) flinches.
It makes a fun evening for me to begin a conversation with a phrase like, "I think the best TV show of all time was 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'." Moments later I can see how the rest of the night will go. If everyone smiles and agrees, then dinner will be a very dull affair. If someone says, "You're out of your mind. Everyone knows the best TV show was 'Full House'," maybe we should skip dessert. Then again, if someone suggests that "The Dick Van Dyke Show" just gave us a glimpse of the thundering talent that Jerry Van Dyke was, it might be worth calling the babysitter and telling her that we'll be home late.
The real challenge is picking a point that you can defend. You don't even have to do it with a straight face. Stephen King set off a thousand blogs when he made his list of the "Twenty-Five Greatest Rock Songs." All those Elvis songs, and not a single track from Black Sabbath? Once again ladies and gentlemen, these are opinions - not facts. This is the joy of pop culture. It is infinitely subjective. Firmly held beliefs are not a necessity, since you could find yourself on the other side of the swinging door of hypocrisy at any minute, but at least introduce your assertion with conviction. Then when the rest of the room caves in around you in disagreement, be prepared to point out that we live in a free and democratic society, and if you believe that "Physical Graffiti" is the best Led Zeppelin album ever recorded, take solace in the fact that the framers of the United States Constitution had you in mind when they put that whole "freedom of speech" thing in - which, by the way, happens to be the best of all the freedoms.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:14 PM

    Only Uncle Jesse would think that Physical Graffiti is the best Zep album ever!!! Don't get me wrong, it's got great songs, but if you have to go outside the first four albums to name your favorite, you're in Jesseland. Unless you're talking about The Firm, of course--some of Page's *b*e*s*t* work E*V*E*R!

    -Do I even need to sign my name?

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  2. Anonymous6:41 AM

    My favorite part: "It makes a fun evening for me to begin a conversation with a phrase like, "I think the best TV show of all time was 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'." Moments later I can see how the rest of the night will go. If everyone smiles and agrees, then dinner will be a very dull affair. If someone says, "You're out of your mind. Everyone knows the best TV show was 'Full House'," maybe we should skip dessert. Then again, if someone suggests that "The Dick Van Dyke Show" just gave us a glimpse of the thundering talent that Jerry Van Dyke was, it might be worth calling the babysitter and telling her that we'll be home late."

    check out carissa-ann.blogspot.com and find out how you can "Make Money Traveling Through Time" Parts 1-2.

    Im also called "best blog ever", so i'll duke it out with you ;)

    funny stuff, though.

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