Sunday, April 29, 2007

Scenarios

Periodically I enjoy a good controversy. I'm not even above wallowing in a conspiracy or two. I have a friend who insists that the only reason "New Coke" was introduced was so when the Coca-Cola company sheepishly announced they were bringing back "Coke Classic" they were able to do so without its main ingredient: sugar. "Coke Classic" is, according to his various sources (maybe just the voices inside his head), in fact a third recipe created to quell market fears and save enormous amounts of money by using corn syrup. Not exactly enough for Michael Moore's next film, but mildly entertaining for me.
This is why when I woke up this morning and heard that a major portion of our local highway interchange had been destroyed overnight, melted by a tanker truck fire and attendant explosion, I began creating my own set of troublesome concerns. The fact that the truck was carrying unleaded gasoline "at unsafe speeds" immediately makes me want to blame the oil companies. We have been promised that this will cause massive gridlock for weeks to come, and with gasoline prices already creeping toward four dollars a gallon, why not spend a few more of those dollars sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic? The fact that the driver walked away from the scene is even more disturbing. Was it Bruce Willis?
The other possible scenario I made up has the Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban. I already had this guy pegged as a nimrod some time ago, but is he also a saboteur? Tonight will be a pivotal game for Mister Cuban's Dallas Mavericks as they face off against the scrappy underdog Golden State Warriors. On Friday night, rabid Warriors fans who had gone without a home playoff game for thirteen years raised the roof and shook the ground as their home team beat the top-seeded Mavericks. For tonight's game, fans will be forced to alter their travel plans or, perhaps, cancel their trip to the arena completely. Sure, it sounds desperate, but what would you expect from a Texan who gets backed into a corner?

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