Hold The Pickles

 I'm an outlaw

With a ham and Swiss I ride - with apologies to Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead Or Alive"

Sean Dunn was taken into custody on charges of assault with a tasty hoagie. Witnesses described the assailant carrying a "sub style" sandwich just before he unleashed his weapon. For those of you unfamiliar with the nomenclature, a "sub" sandwich generally characterized by the elongated, cylindrical roll split lengthwise and packed with various sliced meats, vegetables and condiments. In this freewheeling society in which we live, civilians are allowed to purchase and carry "sub sandwiches" without a permit. 

Which is precisely how tragedies like this occur. 

On Sunday, August 10, Mister Dunn approached a group of heavily armed multiagency officers and began shouting. "Why are you here? I don't want you in my city," he cried before calling them all "fascists." As tensions continued to mount, Mister Dunn let his weapon of choice fly, hitting one a Customs and Border Patrol officer in the chest. Luckily, the victim was wearing full tactical gear and a bulletproof vest. At this point, Dunn ran away, only to be pursued by the victim and several of his cohort. 

The mild twist in this saga comes as it was revealed that Sean Dunn was an international affairs specialist in the Justice Department's criminal division. "Was" because after he confessed to his crime in his first court appearance, Mister Dunn was, well, done with the DOJ. His former boss, Attorney General Pam "Perma" Bondi insisted, "This is an example of the Deep State we have been up against for seven months as we work to refocus DOJ. You will NOT work in this administration while disrespecting our government and law enforcement."

I believe that someday, when the story of how a convicted felon decided to crack down on crime in our nation's capitol to continue his attempt to obscure his involvement in his good friend's pedophile trafficking scheme, Sean Dunn will be our version of that guy in Tiananmen Square standing in front of a column of tanks. A little known fact about that moment back in June 1989: The shopping back that lone protestor was carrying was full of, you guessed it, sandwiches. 

When sandwiches are outlawed, only outlaws will have sandwiches. 

Pass the mayo.