Double Dare

 I'm not one for dares. I spent my youth struggling against what I felt was an impediment to my free choice. It took me years of dealing with the kid down the street who maintained a rule of terror in our neighborhood by setting up a web of peer pressure that had those of us with wearker wills doing his ridiculous bidding. 

"Go ring that doorbell," he would insist before adding the oppressive, "I dare you." 

And somehow, those of us caught up in his spell were honor bound  to do just that, even though we knew that doing so would necessitate a hasty retreat and the fear of being caught by the angry homeowner whose solace we had disturbed via our "ding-dong ditch" prank. 

Nonetheless, I find myself compelled to challenge each and every one of you to take some time out of your busy day to read in its entirety the April 9, 2026 Executive Order issued by the current resident of the White House. 

I dare you. 

The reason for this challenge is two-fold: The most obvious one is that misery loves company. I do not like the idea that I am the only American citizen who took the time to put themselves through the thirteen thousand word document that the convicted felon feels will finally put an end to the showerhead controversy. 

The man who would be king has spent his first hundred days wildly swinging for the fences in more ways than we can track, but this one feels like it could be the dopiest one yet. Water pressure seems to be pretty low on our nation's list of priorities, but this is the maguffin. Hidden within this screed about what one man perceives as a consumer protection issue is something much more insidious. 

If you are keeping score at home, this is the third in a series of Executive Orders regarding water pressure. The first one came during the First Trumpreich. Joe Biden wrote his own, implementing regulations on water flow. Not only does this third Exectuve Order from the newly ensconced regime reset that bunch of regulations, it includes a very troubling precedent. 

It includes this: "Notice and comment is unnecessary because I am ordering the repeal.  The rescission shall be effective 30 days from the date of publication of the notice." If you were dutiful and responsive to my demands/dare, you might have noticed this. If it slipped past your notice yor you were merely waiting for me to take the time to explain without doing your due diligence, I will explain what this means: The twice-impeached former president is attempting to alter the rules of Executive Orders. This brief window allows citizens and their representatives to respond to the new version of the rules and have them tossed out if necessary. The rest of the Showerhead Manifesto concludes by insisting that further repeals proceed without notice and comment. This puts an adjudicated rapist in the position of changing whatever he likes simply "because he said so." 

Now you probably don't even want to read the rest of it. 

Or maybe you have a stronger will than I had when I was twelve.