Thursday, April 24, 2025

Catholic Schooled

 Julius Dominion Vance, practicing Catholic and spokesmodel for Maybelline, had one of the last audiences with Pope Francis. One might assume that "JD" was looking for some solace as Francis' time on Earth was running down, maybe even some forgiveness after being called on the carpet by the pontiff a couple months ago for his part in the denigration of migrants. Back in February his holiness  warned that the forceful removal of people purely because of their illegal status deprives them of their inherent dignity and “will end badly.”

In his attempt to get some sort of last tag on his adopted faith, Jangly Dan Vance managed to squeeze in an Easter meet and greet with the eighty-eight year old in what would be his last hours on this plane. For his troubles, Vance was awarded with three chocolate eggs, a few rosaries, and a Vatican tie. The Pope, whose patience and strength were tested, got his final reward. 

There was no absolution. 

Before becoming Pope Francis, Jose Mario Borgoglio was a priest from Buenos Aries, a member of the Jesuits. Jorge, later Francis, was a theological scholar who sought to reform his chosen religion through reform. He abolished much of the lavish spending by The Church, and continually invited women to be a part of ceremonies and celebrations. He used his first Easter address as pope to make a plea for world peace, specifically mentioning the Middle East, Africa, and North and South Korea. He also spoke out against those who give in to "easy gain" in a world filled with greed and made a plea for humanity to become a better guardian of creation by protecting the environment. In 2018, he called on oil executives to recognize the frailty of the planet and encouraged them to get on the climate change bandwagon. 

And way back at the beginning of his papacy, Francis was asked by a reporter a question about gay priests, the newly appointed pope quipped: “If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?” Around this same time, in reference to the First Trumpreich's plan to build a wall between the United States and Canada, The Pope said, "A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian," echoing what most of us were already thinking. 

So it is quite likely that Juan Domingo Vance got some forgiveness to go with his chocolate eggs and souvenir tie, but it wasn't the lasting kind. It was more likely the pro forma remissionem that comes as part of the standard Vatican final hours package. 

Papa conculcavit terram. Amittetur.

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