Plain Kate

 I don't care about Kate Middleton. 

Okay, I care about Kate Middleton in the same way that I care about all of my fellow inhabitants of the rock called Earth, but I am struggling to stay interested in the whereabouts of a young mother who was last seen entering the hospital for "abdominal surgery." Why should I care?

"Because she is part of the Royal Family," comes the answer from somewhere behind me.

They Royal Family from whom we separated nearly two and a half centuries ago? The ones who have a whole wing of Netflix devoted to them? The ones who have absolutely no say in the day-to-day policy and governance of our former enemies across the pond? The ones whose life of privilege continues to fascinate those of us who are not Kardashian? 

Well, sorry. That never got the needle to jump off of "don't care." 

Yet, here I am, devoting time and space to the discussion of the latest "tragedy" to befall this terribly inbred group of soap opera stars whose relevance has been all but snuffed out beyond their ability to generate tabloid fodder. 

Which sort of makes what your are currently reading just that: tabloid fodder. 

To be completely transparent, I am not above digging around in the dirty laundry of families whose sole interesting factor is their momentary flash of fame. But these royals have been hogging social bandwidth since 1603, with a brief Republican Break from 1649 to 1660. Which, considering the short attention span of your average hairless ape, is pretty impressive. But they haven't really ruled much of the world for a century now, and once they gave up Hong Kong back in 1997 they tend to rule primarily the gardens behind the castles they continue to maintain at taxpayer's expense. 

But here in America, we can't help but keep one eye on the Monarchy, just out of our genetic predisposition. Once a colony, always a colony, I suppose. Then there's the whole Disney-infused fascination with princesses, which always seems to work out in the storybooks, but not so often in real life. One need look no further than Kate's late mother-in-law, the tragic Princess Diana of Wales. Since that was way back in the late twentieth century, around the time that Hong Kong was given back to China, I suppose the Royal Family pot needs a little stirring. "Abdominal surgery?" 

Sure. Why not?