Awful

 Change is bad. 

I am very unhappy that the closest In 'N' Out to my house is closing. It's closing because of crime in the area. The Taco Bell in my neighborhood is now closed to dine-in patrons. Only drive thru, thank you very much crime in the area. I can still drive not too far out of my way to get a Double-Double, and if the charm of Taco Bell was found in its dining area, I must have missed something along the line. 

So that will have to be. 

But now I understand that they are coming for my Chips Ahoy. According to reports, the bakers of one of America's favorite cookies are "reimagining their ingredients." 

Sorry folks, but I live through the New Coke debacle of 1985. This was back when Coca Cola was a staple of my bachelor diet, and when it was announced that there would be no return to "old Coke," it made me want to do something radical, like writing a strongly worded letter. Happily, before things got too far out of hand, there was Coke Classic, and then the final surrender to the relegation of New Coke to the stuff of nightmares and furniture refinishing. 

I retired from swilling Coke by the liter some time ago, and my peanut M&M habit was mitigated by substituting Chips Ahoy. Which his why this development stings. I bake my own chocolate chip cookies from scratch, so I know how they are supposed to taste. Not like Chips Ahoy. They are the McDonald's version of the cheeseburger. It is referential to the one you might make at home, but the vaguely graham cracker aftertaste and the chips are mostly there to break up the monotony of the cookie. They taste more like Chips Ahoy than they taste like chocolate chip cookies. 

Which is fine with me. Because that is how they have always tasted. Now some Gen Z executive is going to refine the cocoa and introduce Madagascar vanilla into my sea of sameness. 

Why? Aren't things confusing enough? It's enough to turn a guy to a life crime, breaking into Taco Bell dining rooms to have a cheeseburger.