Speeding

 Officer: I pulled you over because you were doing sixty-eight in a posted fifty-five mile an hour zone.

Me: Ah, but, oh - Hey! What about that red car that flew past me?

Officer: I was not clocking him sir. You were exceeding the legal speed limit.

Me: Look at all these cars whizzing by. You're going to tell me that none of them are exceeding the legal speed limit?

Officer: As I explained sir, I was clocking you. You were exceeding the posted limit.

Me: What about the flow of traffic? Was I supposed to slow down while everyone else was speeding?

Officer: Your license and registration, proof of insurance please.

Me: You know I heard that Hillary Clinton was doing a hundred ten down this stretch.

Officer: Really?

Me: Yeah. About seven years ago.

Okay? See how stupid that sounds? Maybe not, depending on how tight your red baseball cap is. The former game show host that once lived in the White House for a while continues to find himself on the wrong side of the law. I say "continues" because even before this country was foolish enough to elect him "president," he and his lawyers were involved in more than four thousand cases in state and federal courts. The people he has paid to be his lawyers say things like "it's a natural part of doing business." 

Not unlike the way getting a speeding ticket is all a part of driving. But something tells me that if you had four thousand speeding tickets they might take away your license to drive. 

Or put you in jail.