Pre-Interview

 "So, Mister Trump -"

"Mister President."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm the President."

"Well, yes. You were."

"No," chuckles and sniffs, "I'm the President."

"Okaaay - Mister - ah - President Trump -"

"Yes?"

"During this town hall meeting, we expect we may be touching on some of the legal challenges you have encountered over the past several months."

"Oh? Which ones were those?" Sniffs.

"The sexual battery and defamation case with E Jean Carroll, the Stormy Daniels indictment..."

"Never heard of them," sniffs, "and if I had they weren't my type anyway." 

"That sounds a little hostile and a little sexist."

"That's what happens when you're a star. Fortunately or unfortunately. It's been true for a million years."  

"I don't think they had media stars a million years ago -"

"You're a nasty person."

"Alright. What about the 2020 election. Don't you think that after two and a half years, you could use this opportunity to clear up any misconceptions people might have about you believing that you really won." 

"You are a very nasty person." 

"Well then, is there anything in particular that you would like us to ask you about?"

"I have a new set of computer generated bubble gum cards coming out. Only a hundred dollars apiece. One of them shows me signing the Declaration of Independence. Another has me winning the four hundred meters in the Tokyo Olympics."

"Fantasy?"

"History," sniffs. "You really are a most nasty person."

"Thank you Mister Tru - Mister President. We look forward to having you on stage."

"The pleasure was all yours."

How did they think there would be anything but magic in New Hampshire last week? And why should we ever listen to anything CNN has to say ever again?