Would You Believe...?

Yes, it was a bit of a jolt when I read that our "president" was looking to buy Greenland. The purchase of Alaska, after all, was once referred to as "Seward's Folly." It should be remembered, however, that back in 1867 that Russia was a motivated seller. And the price of seven million dollars, though enormous at the time, was just two cents an acre.
Greenland is not currently on the market. There are some nice properties in Greenland, New Hampshire available, but this is not the Greenland for which our chief tangerine was looking. He wanted to make a deal with the current owner, Denmark, for the autonomous region of the Kingdom of Denmark, located between the Arctic and Atlantic oceans, east of the Canadian Arctic Archipelago. I can only imagine that the "president" expected to win the Danes over with a line something like, "Hey look - everything's for sale, right?" 
While the rest of us were busy snorting into our morning coffee, Republican Senator Tom Cotton was busy getting behind the idea, writing in an op-ed piece that if we didn't snatch up Greenland surely China would rush in and outbid us. There's gold in them thar hills. Or natural gas and other vital minerals and surprises that would benefit the United States in addition to the strategic placement of this land mass in our ongoing battle for acquisition of stuff in the Northern Hemisphere. Including a place from which to launch Space Force!
Anyway, Denmark said no, and Senator Tom had to set his eyes back on his home in Arkansas. For the time being there would be no need for a territorial potentate of the U.S. possession of Greenland. Which is about the time that a story emerged about our "president" suggesting we use nuclear weapons to keep hurricanes from hitting the United States. Thus a flurry of angry denials from the White House with equally fervent assertions that every word was true from the story's author. In the current state of Bizarroland, who could doubt anything? 
Meanwhile, Puerto Rico, an actual territory of the United States who recently endured the ravages of a hurricane making landfall, looked up from their collective breakfast and said, "So, what else is new?"