Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Heightened Alert

Law and order. That's what Donald T. Jrump insists this country needs. Or, as he further insists, we will cease to exist as a country. The fear his cheesiness seems to be stoking is anarchy. If Hilary Clinton had her way, people would be opening their boxes of Junior Mints on the wrong end without a care. Is that the America you want to live in? What's next, giving up our streets to Evil Clowns?
Go ahead, laugh if you must, but the folks in Colerain Township aren't. They have had enough. They have decided to nip this terrorist threat in the bud. Those frightening apparitions in big shoes and red noses won't be messing up their high school football games anymore. Last week, a fourteen year old boy was arrested for making clownishly scary threats. A parent, interviewed at Friday's game where there was an increased police presence to foil such anarchic antics said, "One of these days, somebody's going to get hurt." This mother said this standing next to a football field. She  was talking about the delinquents who were making life difficult for people like her by dressing up in rainbow wigs and painting their faces in an attempt to creep out people like her.
Mission accomplished.
Meanwhile, the long arm of the law is doing its part by arresting five students for making clown threats. Colerain Police Chief Mark Denney was proud to announce that his department was able to use clues such as IP addresses to track down these miscreants. That and stepped-up surveillance of vehicles carrying more than twelve passengers. And what are residents of suburban Ohio afraid of, aside from the obvious and inherent creepiness of all clowns? That somebody might overreact and end up shooting a clown, according to the parent who was happy to have law and order restored to the sidelines of that high school football game. Sheriff of Pasco County, Christopher Nacco concurs: "We are warning teens and young adults not to get involved in this fad, of dressing up as clowns to cause fear because eventually someone is going to perceive their actions as a threat and take justice in their own hands." A great big, steaming mug of justice. 
So what do we have to fear? Fear itself and one of those squirting daisies. Terrifying.

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