Monday, May 02, 2016

Consumptive Nominee

Rounding this great big curve into what will likely be a summer of discontent, we are inching closer to what we refer to as "the presumptive nominee" for both major political parties. "Presumptive," since we can only presume that the object set in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Ask Wile E. Coyote about that one if you're unsure. The current schedule has the Clinton and Trump trains pulling into their prospective stations mid to late July. Democrats will be popping by Philadelphia in late July, and Republicans will have their gala a week before in Cleveland. I suppose the nice thing about all this presumption is that the swag dealers won't have the same concerns that major sports championships have when they have to find a place to get rid of all those Carolina Panthers -  Super Bowl Champions shirts. I do have a fond memory of my father's Jesse Jackson for President tee, but he was always a bit of an outlier.
Then there's a little matter of grammar. I found myself wondering about the difference between presumptive and assumptive. Both mean taking for granted that something is true, but the degree of certainty is what sets them apart. Presuming is more authoritative. Assuming, as we all know, makes an ass out of u and ming. In the world of politics, we presume that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee for president. We assume that Donald Trrrrrump will be running on the Republican side. This is primarily because at this point, we can't really know what Donald and his minions will do right up until the moment the coronation takes place.
Sorry. Did I just say "coronation?" That may be hyperbole, but that is precisely the kind of verbal thrashing about that is bound to take place leading up to the moment where the powers-that-have-been in the Republican Party give up the reins of their tired old party to the billionaire Oompa Loompa who may just be running for president as a part of a new reality TV show: performance art. If that's the case, I applaud mightily, but I don't think that's how it's all going to go down. I assume that's not what is going on.
I presume that the path for Ms. Clinton will be a little more direct, in spite of Mr. Trumplet's suggestion to Bernie Sanders that he run as a third party candidate. Or why not just cross to the other side completely and give up your votes to the master of all those celebrity apprentices? Sanders supporters are currently being courted by the architect of the wall, but that may be a bit of a stretch. At least that's what I presume.

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