Hearts Of Darkness

The way we have all reflected on the crisis in Ray and Janay Rice's relationship has been played out for the world to see. It's not football fans who are caught up in the discussion. It's everywhere. I had a conversation with two fourth grade boys the morning after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell suspended Mister Rice from the NFL. These were ten-year-old FIFA fanatics, but the media attention brought the drama into their living rooms. At first, their opinions were that of disbelief: Could you believe that Ray Rice won't be allowed to play football anymore? And that makes sense, since taking away a kid's recess is about the harshest punishment we dole out here. Then I asked them if they knew why Ray Rice wasn't going to be allowed to play football anymore.
"He hit his wife," came the much quieter answer.
"Knocked her out," added the second. There was a twinkle of "ain't that cool" in it.
I asked them if it was okay to hit a girl.
"No," came the droning, conditioned response.
Is it okay to hit anyone?
"No," was the refrain once again.
What if it was your sister or your mother or your brother or your dad?
Now they started to engage. "I wouldn't let anyone hit my little sister."
Okay. Maybe it really wasn't okay to hit anyone. Maybe all the reasons in the world were just excuses. The saddest part of all of this is the way Ray and Janay's life was bared for all to see through a few grainy seconds of security camera video. Does that instant describe their relationship? I'm sure it doesn't. There are things about their lives that we will never know. It's none of our business.
What is our business, or mine anyway, is getting kids to make good choices. Hopefully by the time they become professional football players or plumbers or civil engineers, making good choices will be easy. Easier. Not impossible.
We would all like to make it through life without the worst of ourselves becoming an Internet meme. Unless that moment of infinitely looped footage showed us in the best possible light. Learn. Grow. Live. Peace.