Friday, June 14, 2013

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's a Cash Cow!

I know. Spider Man was never above hawking Hostess snack cakes or Pop Tarts, and Marvel even talked Major League Baseball into putting webs on their bases for a while, anyway. Apparently the friendly folks at Marvel believe there is no such thing as bad publicity. This might explain why Disney was so quick to snap up the licensing for all of their newly acquired heroes, including that which is connected to films made by other studios like the "Berserker Burger" at Red Robin, ostensibly to promote Twentieth Century Fox's "Wolverine." The movies are nice, but fast food is where the money is.
Which may explain why I was asked to consider how the Man of Steel shaves. I remember as a kid being puzzled by this quandary, but not for long. Gillette doesn't want you to wonder. Warner Brothers, who produced the most recent retelling of the story of the last son of Krypton, doesn't want to leave much of anything to the imagination. Carl's Junior would like us to believe that Kal-El's diet consists primarily of their Super Bacon Cheeseburger. Chrysler would like you to know that Clark Kent may be faster than a speeding bullet, but his truck is ram tough.  Maybe that ability to jump tall buildings in a single bound is aided by those snappy Under Armour sneakers. It's gotta be the shoes. Supes has already raked in one hundred and seventy million dollars in product endorsements. Without selling a ticket yet.
So, I'm guessing that once the movie officially opens, then we can expect even more Super deals on Super merchandise. For now, I'll stick to my Spider Man pizza.