Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Chewie On This

If you've been hanging around this corner of Al Gore's Internet for a while, you know that I have some very strong feelings when it comes to Wookies. I have decried the Republic's specist handling of the awards ceremony following the destruction of the first Death Star. Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are standing right up there next to Chewbacca, with their medals, all smiles while the music swells and the credits get ready to roll. Chewie lets out what many have construed as a celebratory yawp over the roofs of the galaxy. I prefer to think of it as a cry of pain and disgust. Thanks for risking your life back there just beyond the fourth moon of Yavin, but due to government cutbacks and shortfalls brought on by bringing a costly rebellion against an obviously well-funded Empire, we don't have any medals for guys with fur.
Add on the insult of the Wookie planet being hastily rewritten into Ewoks so that all those little people who were hanging around being Jawas , droids, and Ugnaughts were easily cast as those Muppet-y friends of the Republic. Maybe if things had been different, we might have avoided Jar Jar Binks, or at least the Yub Nub Song. Is this anyway to treat a hero of the Rebellion?
Much closer to home, here in our own galaxy, Wookies still can't get a fair shake. Chewbacca's alter ego, Peter Mayhew, was trying to board an intraplanetary transport when a government official attempted to relieve him of his light saber. In this case, the light saber turned out to be a cane, and was being used by Mister Mayhew who is nearing his seventieth year and as he stands more than seven feet tall without the aid of computer graphics, our gravity has taken a toll on his epic frame. The TSA stormtroopers were convinced to release the cane after Chewie unleashed the power of the Force (Twitter). It turns out, this wasn't the weapon they were looking for, and the uniforms told him to move along.
In the words of Captain Solo: "No reward is worth this." Are you listening, J.J. Abrams?

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