Sure Shot

On Tuesday, the NRA released their report on how to make schools in America safer. Among their recommendations: increased funding for mental health programs on both state and local levels, an education program to help parents, students and teachers become aware of possible threats to their safety, and a call for harsher penalties for anyone caught anywhere near a school with a deadly weapon.
Ha, ha, ha. Just kidding. They want teachers to carry weapons. Guns, specifically. Realistically, I don't know what we would expect from the National Rifle Association. Of course their solution would be firearms based. If the National Pudding Consortium had been asked, their report would have suggested more yummy desserts, especially those of the custard variety for decreasing school violence. You get what you pay for, right?
In this case, the NRA paid more than a million dollars for this brain trust to come up with solutions like arming at least one individual on every school site, and installing bullet proof glass in classroom windows. As for the bulletproof glass, I would like to point out just how long it takes to get a single broken window replaced on our campus, and how much that piece of tempered glass costs to get installed: A) a long time, and B) a lot. Imagine trying to get all the windows in all our schools replaced, and just how much that solution would solve. In education, we tend to try and create a safe space for kids to learn, but we avoid the feeling of "locked down" wherever possible. The irony is that bulletproof glass would eliminate a certain element of our job: vandalism and break-ins by the neighborhood toughs who seem to have a penchant for electric pencil sharpeners and other office supplies.
And then there's the one armed adult. The NRA suggests a forty to sixty hour training program for preparing this lone gunman (or woman) for the opportunity for walking point. I know how much training and how many professional development opportunities come our way each and every week as elementary school teachers, and it makes me more than just a little nervous to think about how this program would be received by the rank and file. The reason we have student teacher programs is to give newbies a chance to experience the trials and tribulations of a regular school day before being tossed into a room of their own small people with all their attendant needs and concerns. I'm sure that we would only ask veteran teachers to pack heat, but I wonder how long it will be before teaching credential programs start to require concealed weapons practicums as part of their licensing process. I hope that it is a long time. Like forever.
In the meantime, I feel like the best solution for now is to have a big bowl of chocolate pudding.