Blinded By Science

At last, I have proof. Scientific proof. Researchers at the University of Missouri have uncovered what many of us already knew: There is such a thing as The Bro Code. These scientists from the Show-Me-State have determined that men are biologically inclined toward avoiding a close encounter with the mate of a buddy, and it works the other way around if she is not committed to a friend. What my wife has insisted for all of these years is made-up junk turns out to be science.
"Men's testosterone levels generally increase when they are interacting with a potential sexual partner or an enemy's mate," anthropologist Mark Flinn, lead author of the study, said in releasing the report. "However, our finding suggests that men's minds have evolved to foster a situation where the stable pair bonds of friends are respected."
You read that right: Men's minds have evolved. So there. This also means that all those times when I complained bitterly about this guy or that not fully comprehending or acknowledging the legitimacy of the code, I was right. Scientifically. If your buddy starts messing with the girl you're trying to hook up with, he's going against not just the Code, but Nature.
All of this chemistry makes me wonder how much of my moral sense comes to me through various and sundry hormonal secretions. Am I stopping at traffic lights because my friend's girlfriend told me to? Would it be easier to follow the Ten Commandments if Moses had led off with "Thou shalt not hit on thy neighbor's wife?"
And maybe all of these observations would be more believable if they were taken in the presence of Doctor Bud Weiser.