Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tale of the Tape

I hope after you read this, you have someone who is willing to rock you to sleep: Subway foot long sub sandwiches are actually only eleven inches long. It might be worth noting that when things get cold, they tend to shrink. That should be sufficient for an explanation, especially since more details could be embarrassing.
Still, if you're a fan of those little disclaimers at the bottom of the screen (closed course, professional driver, do not attempt, not a flying toy), then you probably know that a quarter pounder is only a quarter pounder before cooking.
Have you ever peeled back that waxy paper and seen something that looked like acommercial? Disappointment is part of American life. I take great solace in the words I read on the side of a nondescript black and white box:
Color and content may vary, but should be suitable for everyday use. After all, what's an inch between friends? And please keep your nasty thoughts to yourself. Especially if they involve all that fast talk at the end of a Cialis commercial.

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