Thursday, December 27, 2012

Shooting Off His Mouth

There are plenty of reasons to hate Piers Morgan. One might start with his haughty accent. Where does he get off, sounding like he's from some foreign country, anyway? Just because he's from England, do we have to suffer his oh-so-clever-sounding breathy "ahs" and "m-hms"? If you're going to hang out in America, and steal Larry King's job, do us all a favor and start sounding American. And while we're on the subject, if you're so British and all, what makes you qualified to decide which American's Got Talent?
Writer of books, interviewer to the stars or their equivalent, winner of the celebrity version of The Apprentice, is there anything this British ex-pat can't weasel his way into? No wonder people want to deport him. An online petition already has tens of thousands of supporters, a hundred times more than the petition that asks NASA to do a feasibility study and conceptual design of the Gen 1 USS Enterprise interplanetary spaceship. They must be serous. They must be serious about getting this Englander out of the country. Because he's attacking the second amendment.
You see, where Piers comes from, there is no constitution. or at least a handy, pocket-size version that one can easily reference when deciding who belongs in this country or that. Just because there is no handy index for approved behaviors in his stodgy old monarchy, that doesn't give him the right to pop off about ours. Maybe if there had been more Brits packing heat back in 1939, Hitler would have just backed up his blitzkrieg and headed back to Berlin. Everybody knows that putting guns in the hands of "the good guys" is the answer. Even if that means that some of those guns end up in the hands of some not so good guys.
Or maybe Mister Morgan was exercising his first amendment right. If you want to deport Piers Morgan, do it for the right reason: His feud with Madonna.

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