Jurisprudence

Sometimes I get nostalgic for the olden days. Way back when gas was only three dollars and fifty cents a gallon. An election year. In 2008, the world waited on pins and needles for the answer to one question: Where was this Barack Obama character born? How had this foreign insurgent missed all other checkpoints in our political system and found himself running for the highest office in the land if he wasn't even a citizen?
Okay, so it turns out that he was a citizen, born in Hawaii and had the documents to prove it. He got elected, and he made some decisions that people didn't like, so the brain trust decided to check into that whole birth certificate thing one more time. Over the next four years, since it's a fee country and all, some people spent a lot of time making sure that this Obama fella didn't just sneak into the line for president and take somebody else's turn.
Perhaps no one has been more vigilant in his quest to unmask this pretender to the throne than Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. You know, the guy who doesn't like the way George Lopez talks about him. Or the U.S. Justice Department. Or the ACLU. He's not particularly fond of a great many people and institutions, and that may be why he chooses to describe himself as "the toughest lawman in America." How tough is Joe? Well, his own mother died while giving birth to him. But all this tumult and drama could not deter him from his mission: figuring out just how this Obama character got himself elected with a fake birth certificate. Never mind that Hawaii is way out of Joe's jurisdiction, or that a county sheriff in Arizona might have one or two more pressing local matters on which to spend his time. The posse Joe put together has been working, off and on for the past year, to find holes in the elaborate network of deceit that the President and his cronies in the records department in Honolulu have been spreading.
Or maybe somebody should tell Joe to get his own documentation together for the civil lawsuit the Department of Justice is about to drop on his head. I'm no expert, but that one looks pretty official.