Circumstances Being What They Are

Another school year ends before Father's Day. It's a gift to a father like me, who gets to relax into his vacation as the fires of summer barbecues begin and the lawn begins to beg for attention. But it wasn't always that way. When I first started at this school, it was a year-round affair. That meant that I was working through the summer and the kids came in and out in three month cycles. I took a couple of weeks off around my birthday each year to recharge my batteries, but mostly what I did was teach. Or learn how to teach back in those days. At that time I was still making it up as I went along.
One of the things I had to experience the hard way was this: There is no blanket experience that can be applied or appreciated by every single person in the room, even if those persons happen to be six to twelve years old. When I assigned Mothers' Day cards, I had a kid or two in each class who wanted to volunteer the stories of how their mother didn't live with them anymore. "Can I make one for my grandma?" Sure, of course you can.
Over the years I heard about mothers who were in jail, or who had died, or who had simply gone away. Kids will tell you these things because no one has told them they should be secrets. I even had a couple of Jehovah Witnesses who announced that they don't celebrate such occasions, so could they just make a picture of something else? Sure, I suggested, and you can give it to your mother.
Then there was the one time when I suggested making a Fathers' Day card. I was a new father at the time, reveling in all things fatherly, including that second Sunday in June. But if you take the number of mother exceptions and multiply it by a lot and you've got an idea of how poorly this idea went over. I did hear a lot of very sad stories, however. Remember how I said I was making it up as I went along? I figured something out, way back then: Let the kids bring the sentiments to you. If a kid asks to take a few minutes to create a tribute to his mother, father, sister or brother, then it's a good idea. Assigning sentiment can only lead to confusion and frustration.
No one asked me to write this, by the way. Happy Father's Day.