My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys

That's not exactly true. I have had some heroes in my life who happened to be cowboys. "The Electric Horseman" was one such example. That was about the same time that I had adopted King Arthur as my guiding light, due to repeated viewings of "Excalibur." This was a period in my life, during my late teens, that I was especially susceptible to acquiring role models from the media I experienced. For a short time I pondered my existence from the point of view of Rick in "Casablanca," and lest you think that all my influences were cinematic, there was also Billy Pilgrim in "Slaughterhouse Five." For the record, I can also vouch for the film adaptation.
And it's not like this was a phase that I went through and moved on. When I was nine years old, I saw "Bless The Beasts and the Children," and I became fixated on the tragically heroic Cotton, leader of "The Dings." He wasn't the coolest kid in the camp, he was just the coolest misfit kid. This set me up for a series of idols who were not necessarily the best in show, just the best in their very specific category.
I felt this once again as my wife pointed out that I was referencing Hawkeye from M*A*S*H as I described the departure of one of my colleague's departure from our school. Alan Alda got a little preachy for me near the end, but his wise-cracking surgeon facing death every day has remained a touchstone for me all these years later. I find myself watching people come and go from this place I have been, seemingly, forever. It makes me wonder what's wrong with them, and then I wonder what might be wrong with me. Then I remember the words of Spencer Tracy as Henry Drummond in "Inherit the Wind" to his friend Matthew Brady, played by Frederic March: "All motion is relative, Matt. Maybe it's you who've moved away by standing still." All of this to say that I am happy to have popular culture on which to draw for reconciling my emotions all these years. To which I can only reply with the words of that old cowboy, Josey Wales: "I reckon so."